This Little Piggy

Apologies for what is to follow. Simply have to spew forth vitriol. After reading this little informative gem about miscellaneous crap that was tacked onto the supplemental spending bill for the war my head spun completely around. Let’s skip the minutiae and hit a juicy clump manure. For over four years we’ve been bludgeoned with stories of wounded veterans not getting the care they need. This was especially bad for Reservists and National Guard soldiers. The ball has been thoroughly dropped when it comes to PTSD treatment. With that in mind a grand total of $1.38 billion was allocated for the VA. Of that $100 million is to go to contract mental health care for veterans when wait times exceed 30 days. WTF! If you’re having suicidal tendencies due to PTSD and the wait time is only 29 days you have to take a number. Bear in mind that $1.38 billion when you consider that $1.48 billion went to livestock farmers. What the fuck! (Sorry dad, got pushed off that expressive cliff again.)

Let’s drop another reel in the View-Master, shall we? $56 million for prosthetics, which we need a lot of. $74 million for something entitled “to ensure proper storage for peanuts”. I need a reality check on something. It appears to me that it would almost have to be cheaper to pay for a Kaiser or Blue Cross policy for veterans than keep playing hide-the-weenie with supplementals that wrap gauze around a broken system. Get me the GAO on the phone, we need a study.

The really annoying aspect of this festering chunk of legislation is yet another timeline for ending the war. As I’ve said before, this is merely a chickenshit attempt at politics as a continuation of war. All of the introduced timelines are before Election Day, 2008. The Democratic party wants the issue of Iraq to be removed from the program before the election. If they were really serious about ending the war they would simply invoke the War Powers Act and be done with it. They’d rather have a club named Iraq to beat the president with for about a year, then quietly put it away. Right war or wrong war, all this posturing and pimping just gets us farther away from anywhere we want to be. Congress: An 18^th century legislative body, using 20^th century methodology to fight a 21^st century war.

Ares

Bloom's Brain

Winding down my read of Global Brain. What an excellent piece of writing. Even though it got long at times it’s still worth it. I would try to force it on Athena but she still hasn’t touched my copy of The World is Flat. Chapter 19, The Kidnap of Mass Mind: Fundamentalism, Spartanism, and the Games Subcultures Play 1932 to 2030, alone make the book worthwhile. I found this little nugget in the above mentioned chapter.

Postmodern fundamentalists are masters at the craft of enemy creation and the manufacture of a siege mentality. Their world abounds in villains – one-worlders with black helicopters, Satanic secular humanists, Beelzububian New Agers, homosexual conspirators, Zionist bankers, Illuminati, Trilateral commissioners, Great Satans, real estate developers, mink farmers, abortionists, and genetic engineers. Bringing the sense of battle to a fever pitch is the myth that we are on the brink of the mother of all subculture wars, that of the final days in which an avenging Nature, Allah, or Jehovah will wipe this old, iniquitous world away. The impure and unbelieving (that means you and me) will die in manners horrible to contemplate. When all is stripped and cleansed through nuclear flame, greenhouse flood, or the bloodbath of the scimitar, the righteous will finally take their place at the right hand of God, of Nature, or of racial destiny.”

One of the interesting things about the book is that it was published in 2000; well before our national venture into international conflict and its resulting attendant dysfunctionality. Bloom illustrates how an ancient concept like vilification is getting a facelift to keep pace with our changing culture, but the underlying bone structure remains the same. The book is much more wide-ranging than the above quote. Well worth the time if you feel like doing some intellectual fine dining.

Ares

Bless you, Mr. Bill

Further evidence of my theory that Bill Richardson should be president. He's about to sign into law a bill that would legalize medical marijuana. Pretty ballsy for a guy running for president. Mind you, New Mexico would be the 12th state to legalize for medical purposes. But the rule of the jungle is normally that you don't throw ammo towards your opponents. The following quote simply confirms his status as a mensch. "So what if it's risky? Its the right thing to do....What we're talking about is 160 people in deep pain. It only effects them". That, my friends, is a guy that gets it. God bless you Bill.

Ares

Sorry, Gotta Go There

Here at Ares and Athena we've tried to stay away from that whole war in Iraq thingy. Not because we feel one way or the other, but because the issue gets waaay too much play. You can't swing a dead cat without getting smacked upside the head with somebody's two cents. Anymore it feels like Clauswitz has been stood on his head: Politics has become a continuation of war. Having said all that, I came across this clip the other day and thought it was worthwhile. Pamela Hess is a corresponded for UPI. She's talking about her recent trip to Iraq. Nice to see her show some humanity and not give some Joe Friday just-the-facts-ma'am recitation.

Ares

A Terrifying Message from Al Gore

Thought this was funny enough to repost. If nothing else Al's got a sense of humor.

What Would Mohammed Do?

Oh boy. In a stunningly anti-climactic move CAIR announced it was suing US Airways over the Flying Imams incident of late last year. Now I really want to fly somewhere, just to throw some money at US Air. This is going to be one hell of a show. I absolutely can not wait until they put them on the stand. One of the aggrieved waxed at length in the press conference about how people were jailed in his native country for their religious differences and it made him sad to see it here in America. Point of dissention Mohammed: You weren’t jailed. You were denied a mode of conveyance because you couldn’t offer up a rational explanation of your behavior. By the way, this press conference was not witnessed by the Washington Times or the Christian Broadcasting Network. CAIR wouldn’t start until they were removed from the room.

“It’s discrimination” said Omar Shahin. Absolfuckinglutely. My tolerance isn’t unconditional. Until somebody grabs the mike and starts denouncing things like child rape and wife beating you’re going to get the greasy eyeball. Because no one on Omar’s end has bothered to place that pause in our thinking. I think we can all agree that after 9/11 this country went out of its way to check itself before resorting to the lowest common denominator. Five years on Islam is by and large rubbing it back in our faces. This isn’t multiculturalism, this is myculturalism.

I’ve got a few talking points for Omar and his myrmidons. Before this country ever got around to writing a constitution it wrote a few lines that go something like “all men are created equal”. It took us a few centuries to work out the kinks, but we’ve taken the idea that those lines mean everybody to heart. That includes the women you beat, the children you rape, and the people you slaughter because they pray to a different god. Okay, you don’t participate in those activities. But your co-religionists do and you have yet to utter a peep in denouncement. That, and not your praying five times a day, is why you are not given the benefit of the doubt. One more thought: Freedom of religion does not equate to freedom to be a jackass.

Ares

I'm an Idiot

So with the weather getting nicer I’ve started working out outdoors more. Today was a typical example: Partly cloudy with temperatures in the high 70’s. (Sorry dad.) Having an entire day off to play with I decided to ride the bike for a couple of hours. Problem is, I live in a built up area and riding can be a bit hazardous. I decided to patronize the outstanding Silver Comet Trail. The Silver Comet is about 20 miles from home. Half way there, sitting in traffic on the freeway, it dawned on me that I’m driving 40 miles on the freeway so I can ride my bike somewhere safer. It’s a good thing I barely passed statistics in college; otherwise I would feel really stupid about my risk-avoidance choices. I’m such a moron. Have I mentioned that I hate this town?

Ares

Don't Be Alarmed, It's Just the Future

Found this little nugget on the always insightful Common Sense Technology, a site that's always worth the time. This is six minutes that's actually worth the time. Ares

Dred Scott

I missed an anniversary of sorts last week. March 6^th was the 150^th anniversary of the Dred Scott ruling by the Supreme Court. Probably the most shameful chapter in American judicial history. I can’t help but believe the ruling had an effect on the abolitionist movement. If any bright side can be found it’s that the issue of slavery was settled once and for all a few years later, even if at a terrible price. Two ideas come to mind when I consider this ruling. The first is one of my favorite sayings: Antiquity does not bequeath virtue. Second, the nine folks in black robes that embody the judicial branch of our government aren’t always right. Miranda v Arizona comes to mind as further evidence of that, in my very biased opinion.

Still, it’s impressive when you view it from the reverse. Scott was returned to Dr. Emerson’s widow. She had remarried and her new husband was opposed to slavery. He released Scott to the family that originally owned him, who in turn granted him his freedom. Moral of that story? A couple of somewhat average citizens understood what the greatest constitutional scholars of the time didn’t. That we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. A man effectively lynched at the hands of the US Government died a free man at the hands of his fellow man.

Ares

Brrr

I just wanted to give a shout out to the hardy folks of Madawaska, Maine. No, I've never been there but the internet whore in me likes to surf the National Weather Service's website. Madawaska is at the northernmost tip of Maine. As of 3:53 pm the temperate there is -4 with a wind chill of -29. I offer my weather condolences as I sit on my deck in short sleeves, sipping a beer and reading a book. Tomorrow the high is supposed to be 3, Thursday it's supposed to be -1. Dude, I think it's time to move. Pack up the minivan and give the land back to the Nunavut or the Iroquois or Mohawk or whoever had it first.

Ares

Today's Chuck Quote

Becuase who hasn't had a day like this?

"I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. I wanted to destroy something beautiful."

Economist

Have I mentioned how much I love the Economist? I’ve taken media refuge in that thin little glossy over the past few years. As a gesture of mercy Mrs. Ares renews my subscription every year. In a world of media retardation and feeble intellects the Economist refuses to go low-brow. Case in point: Not once, ever, has the name Anna Nicole Smith appeared in their pages. When politics does feature in their forum its thought out, rational analysis. Not the tabloid, Wolf I-haven’t-come-up-for-air-since-the-Gulf-War Blitzer drive-by punditry. As their contents page states: Its “goal is to take part in a severe contest between intelligence, which presses forward, and an unworthy, timid ignorance obstructing our progress.” Another excellent aspect of the publication is their annual Big Mac Index, which uses the price of a Big Mac in different areas of the world to measure purchasing power parity. The really sad part, though, is that US circulation of the Economist is just over half a million. Circulation for People is 3.7 million.

Ares

Algore's Dim Bulb

Thanks Al for inventing the Internet. Now millions of common folk have a venue to make fun of you. Talk about your unintended consequences. I'm really digging that Inconvenient Truth. Not the movie but the part about his house using more power in a month than most use in a year. I'd say right about now his carbon footprint is in his mouth. The Department of Irony called the Gore campaign to see about a celebrity endorsement. Or was that the Department of Hypocrisy? Schadenfreudelicous.

Ares

Gloating

Just wanted to give a shout out to all our peeps that are freezing their junk off up north. It was 69 degrees here yesterday and sunny with a nice breeze. There was much outside cavorting done by all.

Ares

Big Brained

I’m currently plowing my way through Global Brain by Howard Bloom. It’s a good, if chunky, read about the history of collective consciousness and group thinking. Sort of reinforces Scott Adams’ proposition that we’re all just “moist robots”. One passage in particular caught my attention. Bloom is outlining how visual perception takes place.

“…Cells in the retina scrap 75 percent of the light which pours in through the lens of the eye. They diddle mercilessly with what’s left, transmogrifying the photons of which light is made into pulses of electrons and bursts of unpronounceable chemicals like lumirhodopsin. They fiddle with the contrast, tamper with the sense of space, and report not the location of what we’re watching, but where the retinal cells calculate it soon will be…… Adding insult to injury, the eye crushes the information it’s already fuddled, compacting the landslide of data from 125 million neurons down to a code able to squeeze through a cable – the optic nerve – a mere 1 million neurons in size. On the way to the brain, the constricted stream stops briefly in the thalamus, where it is mixed, matched, and modified with flows of input from ears, muscles, fingertips, and even sensors indicating the tilt and trajectory of the head, hands, legs, and torso. The rearranged gumbo is sent off to the visual cortex, where it is divvied up again….. Finally, a council of representatives from the superior colliculus, the thalamus, the locus coeruleus, the hypothalamus, and the occipital cortex poll their squabble of conclusions and cast a vote on what the twinges of light impinging on the retina might be. Not until they’ve agreed on an image do they send it to the left cerebral hemisphere, presenting it to the conscious mind as a paranormal accompli. What we see is no the product of direct perception, but a reconstruction bordering on collage artistry.”

Or as the haggard old detective once told me: “Eye witnesses suck”. Even more succinctly told to me by a crusty, tattooed Master Chief when I was 16: “Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see”. An excellent read thus far. Along the same lines as Bill Bryson’s *A Short History of Nearly Everything. Wish there had been science books like this when I was growing up.

Ares

Blood Sport

Went for my daily dose of Tom Barnett today. As usual he’s dead on, this time about the ill wind that’s blowing through the body politic these days. The blood sport, it’s-about-power-not-governance, all or nothing mindset that has been creeping in from the flanks of the respective parties for a few years is reaching a higher pitch. We don’t merely disagree with the other side anymore. Now they have to be demagogued into being evil and a threat to your very existence. It’s the politics of intolerance brought to an exquisite point.

This is a strange, dark new world we’re entering. And we’re entering it faster than anyone is comfortable with. (Friedman talks about this some in The World is Flat. The book is well worth the time, can’t recommend it enough.) When a Democratic candidate for president declares publicly that Israel is the greatest threat to world peace we all need to consult our collective compass. When the leading Republican candidate will most likely be kicked off the dais by his own party for because he doesn’t oppose same-sex marriage we have to ask exactly whom that party is representing. Of course, the mere fact that we’re doing this two years before Inauguration Day should offer clues about the health of the machine Aaron Sorkin once wrote that politicians win elections by doing two things: making you afraid and telling you whose to blame for it. That seems to be all we’re doing anymore.

One last thing while we’re in this neighborhood. I finally realized what bothers me about Hillary’s run. I think only having two names on the mailbox at 1600 Pennsylvania for the past 20 years in enough. It’s come down to the electoral equivalent of Coke versus Pepsi.

Ares

It's Not News...It's the New York Times

In what is quite possibly my favorite media screw up in a long time, the New York Times offered up this little nugget on it's web edition last Friday. The headline promises a story about the House debate about troops in Iraq. The picture is from a concert of the metal band Slayer. Or it could be from the Democratic National Comittee Headquarters, who knows. I know that Nancy is a big Slayer fan. Ted Kennedy, always on the prowl for new ladies to take swimming, is known to frequent speed metal shows. I think I see Dennis Kucinich on the left side of the picture. Would somebody please throw John Edwards into the pit. You know, if debates in the House actually looked like this C-Span viewership would go through the roof.

Ares

And the Winner is......

Congratulations to Time Magazine, winner of this week’s Ares and Athena laziest publication award. For the benefit of everyone living under rocks and bridges for the past few years they’d like to inform us that there are only 648 shopping days until the next presidential election. Whew! I was worried it was tomorrow or something. Forgotten in the “___ Days Until” theme was the 457 days until the next total solar eclipse, 354 days until the start of the 2008 Major League Baseball season, and 147 days until Charles Manson is up for parole again. Sadly, this issue does not appear to contain any Anna Nicole Smith references. Guess I’ll have to stick to CNN for all the Breaking News nuggets in that case.

Time Magazine, the Official News Flavored Product of journalism.

Ares

Blended Brain

Sorry about the lapse in posting. Just finished four days of 12 hour shifts. Feeling a bit wound up and waylaid at the same time. Wanted to give a shout out to my dad, who is probably up to his receeding hairline in snow and reading this in between trips to the firewood pile. Stay warm.

In other news, Anna Nicole Smith is still dead. The media can STFU any time now.

Ares

Officially Sanctioned Woman Beating

Found this on the web. Simple enough and straightforward. It's easy to go around your elbow to get to your ass when trying to make a point. It would be intellectually lazy to point to this and extrapolate that it applies to all Muslims. That said, if this doesn't bother you on some level your humanity is suspect. What is so difficult about viewing women as human beings?

Hat tip: StrategyPage.

The Astronaut and the Space Cadet

You heard it here first. I’ve got an idea for a new reality TV show. Jennifer Wilbanks, the “Runaway Bride”, and the astronaut woman should go on a road trip together. The commitment phobic and the co-dependent. The stalker and the runner. Like Thelma and Louise on Haldol. Just to keep things flowing Jennifer could wear the diaper sometimes and the astronaut could call 911 in different states and try to convince the police she’s been abducted by Mexicans. It would be like Reno 911 meets Fatal Attraction, but funnier.

Ares

Out in the Wild Blue Yonder

NASA Mission Patch $5.99

U.S. Naval Academy Ring $1500.00

Set of U.S. Navy Captain shoulderboards $24.99

Gasoline for the drive from Houston to Orlando…. $129.00

BB gun and Pepper Spray $59.99

Package of NASA spec adult diapers $199.99

Trench Coat, rubber tubing, latex gloves, and wig $159.99

Getting busted by the police wearing a diaper while stalking you’re ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend……………….priceless.

The Last Great Heresy

The global warming drumbeat feels like it’s gotten louder over the past year or so. What’s interesting about this to me isn’t the rise in the voice but the ‘authenticity’ it’s bringing this time around. Disagreement with the global warming hypothesis is one of the last great secular heresies you can engage in. Announce in a meeting at work that you’re an avowed atheist and people won’t even look up. Announce at a party that you think this global warming thing is a bunch of crap and you’ll get fingers poked into your chest. A little bit of science coupled with a little bit of fear and you’ve got a believer. The nice thing for the zealots is that there’s no shortage of apocalyptic predictions.

This is a secular religion that’s undergone some repackaging and rebranding to make it palatable for those that can’t digest belief in a supreme deity. God is an abstraction but you can hold a handful of earth. Whereas god kills indiscriminately when the earth does it now it has to be a result of something we’ve done. Scientists politely refer to those that don’t accept the hypothesis as ‘irresponsible’, read “sinner”. For me, the fun part of all this is watching people twist the apocalypse concept into the scariest scenario they can construct. After a while it becomes more about the elaborate play they’re composing in their head than the facts at hand. Being really scared tends to grant importance to life when you fail at constructing it on your own.

Ares

Killing Children

Mrs. Ares and I watched a little thing tonight called Execution in Iran. Hard to get your mind around. Back in 2004 the Iranian government tried and executed a 16 year old girl for crimes against chastity. Not murder or drug smuggling, but chastity. Story goes something like this. Little Atafeh Sahaaleh was orphaned in place. When she was young her mother died in a car accident. Stricken by grief, her father fell into a well of drug addiction. Atafeh was forced to care for her elderly, infirm grandparents and generally fend for herself. This included being out and about in a society where women are supposed to have a male relation in attendance. One result of this was being arrested by the morality police for being alone in a car with a boy. This ended with a sentence of 40 lashes. When she was 13 she was molested and raped by a 51 year old cab driver. It went on for 3 years. The morality police eventually produced a ‘petition’ that said the girl was a danger to the moral standing of the community and arrested her. After a brief trial where the judge acts as prosecutor she was sentenced to death. (By they way, according to Islamic law the age of consent for females is 9. Yea, 9.) On an August morning they marched her into public and hanged her by raising a crane into the air.

I know better than most people the ways and methods of evil in the world. This is a whole new level. So much about this is wrong that it almost defies cataloging. This is evil on a level that would have made Hitler blush. Find me the mullahs and muftis that decry this practice. They may be out there, but I’ve yet to come across them. Instead we have to settle for Refuseniks in the West like Irshad Manji and Wafa Sultan that live under a death sentence for daring to suggest Islam might not always be right. Another thought that popped up was where is Amnesty International’s media engine of righteous indignation? I suppose it’s easier to take cheap shots at Koran mishandling at Guantanamo. I’m not espousing some neo-con world domination fantasy and I’m not fronting for the Bush Iran Plan, but I can’t get away from the feeling that there needs to be some different kinds of killing going on there. I don’t think confrontations get much more justified than this. Forget my earlier post about CAIR and beating the women. They’re killing the children for being raped. I’m issuing a challenge to all of the Koran-thumping, five-times-a-day-headbangers to articulate to me the value of a religion that espouses killing the children. If you think its wrong we’re well past the time for saying it. Its time you started shouting it.

Best....Quote.........Ever

"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with."

Denis Leary

War Porn

Just a slight digression for a Wednesday afternoon. Caught a piece of CNN over the weekend. (I really only flip through to see what they’re fixating on at a given moment. I’m not a viewer.) They were looping cell phone video of a gun battle between Iraqi forces and terrorists in Najaf. At least that’s what the banner told me. The video was one giant blur with people yelling in Arabic. For all we know it could have been 8 guys having a water balloon fight in the desert. Is CNN really that pathetic that they’ll just throw up any incoherent blur that can be associated with violence? I know, I answered my own question.

When we get to this point it feels an awful lot like war porn. Anything to feed the monster of ratings in order to portray strife, chaos, and disorder. The poor bastards at CNN know they’re competing against websites like YouTube and Consumption Junction for the snuff film audience. It’s a competition they know they’re going to lose. My prediction? At some point in the future CNN will introduce some sort of “prime” or “restricted” website where the can display all of their violence porn, hoping to get a piece of the game.

A Place to Call Their Own

Had a brief thought on the treadmill. We’ve entered a perpetual election cycle. Sports and politics have merged in one respect: They’re really more about entertainment than competition. That said, politics seems to clog an inordinate amount of time in our media. Professional sports realized a long time ago that it was easier to create your own venue than fight for airtime in the mainstream. ESPN was born. We need an ESPN for politics. Some little television/web/print home where all the political entertainers can run off and play their games, thereby freeing up valuable time and space in other venues to discuss real issues.

It could play out like the World Wrestling Federation/World Championship Wrestling ‘wars’ of the ‘90s. Jessie Ventura could get his old gig back as an announcer. Can’t you just see him standing there in a tux, doing a standup with Barack Obama.

Jessie: “What do you have to say to your opponent?

Barack: “We’re coming at those puny little Republicans. When they feel the power of our drug rehabilitation program they’re gonna quake in their boots and run home to momma! We’re gonna bleed their quorum and smash their filibuster! I’m telling you brother!”

Jessie: “That’s gotta hurt, Gene! Back to you in the booth.”

And so on, and so on. I think it should be a law that in all debates the participants will have to wear masks like Mexican wrestlers. Maybe it would even spawn a chain of political themed restaurants. They could serve endangered spotted owl to the red side of the restaurant and Tofurkey on the blue side. Republicans would pay for their meals on maxed out credit cards. Democrats would try to barter services for their dinners. This has enormous downrange potential.

Ares

The First Rule of Political Fight Club

Now this is interesting. It can be explained by one word: fear. This reeks of panic. Add this to the “revelation” within the last week that Obama attended a madrassa as a child and you can paint a picture of an opposition in panicked hysteria. Two years from Inauguration Day and folks are pulling out the nuclear option. By all accounts the madrassa piece is being traced back to Hillary’s campaign. The timing, less than a week after declaring, does smell a bit.

Interesting thing about the madrassa story, nobody is actually carrying the story anymore. (If Google can’t produce it the piece has gone under.) They’re all just talking about it, saying in effect that “other people have said”. This is what the news product profession does best. Take an unsourced hit piece that’s dropped in from obscurity and quickly retracted, and then work itself into a lather about the “story” instead of the original facts presented. News about the news. And a special Shame On You shout out goes to Sean Hannity, for leading off a piece on his website with the sentence “Are the American people ready for an elected president who was educated in a Madrassa as a young boy and has not been forthcoming about his Muslim heritage?” No Sean, we're ready for a world free of bloviating assholes that pander to people's fear.

Ares

Excitable Animals

I caught a few minutes of the Situation Room on CNN the other day, something I usually try to avoid. Is it just me or does Wolf Blitzer seem to be aroused by death, chaos, and mayhem? Granted, that stuff is the mother’s milk of the news product profession. But Wolf comes off as fixated to the point of fetish. And what’s with the ADHD wall of television feed? Does anybody, anywhere, ever feel more informed after a few minutes of that high-speed pass of talking heads? I’ve had this feeling since 9/11 that the news product profession has been trying to top itself. You can almost sense their professional depression that nothing on that scale has happened in over 5 years. Katrina was a widespread visual orgy of destruction. Problem is, they boned that one all the way through and keep quiet about it while hoping people forget how badly they handled it. I'm coining a new term to describe Wolf and is ilk: Professional Schadenfreudist.

Ares

Elephants Turning Tricks

In the interest of granting equal time I thought we could take a quick mosey through the right side of the isle. Again, WTF are these folks doing getting muddy this early in the game? This entire exercise feels completely asinine as Inauguration Day is two years away. I guess there’s advertising space that needs to be sold, so we’ll have this shoved in our faces 24/7 henceforth.

Rudy Guiliani. Gotta give some props to any guy that can unfu** New York City. For anybody that thinks he doesn’t have genuine leadership ability I have two contrasting words for you: Ray Nagin. Rudy’s biggest problem, aside from his ego, is going to be his own party. If memory serves he’s pro-choice and pro-gay marriage, two things the right flank of the party are going to whip him with. He’s gonna have some issues when he has to account for his personal life, but anymore that seems to be an admission criteria for entry into politics. Also, there’s that troubling baldness thing. Who was the last bald president we elected? Ike?

Newt Gingrich. Yea, much like Algore, that’s already been tried. Newt’s actually a pretty smart guy, but it’s not gonna matter when he gets to talking. His mouth seems to attain a velocity all its own when he gets going. If he’d learned the less-is-more philosophy a dozen years ago he might stand a chance. Probably the next best thing the Republicans have as far as shitstorm lightning rods go, behind the current POTUS and VPOTUS.

John McCain. It’s hard for me not to like John for personal reasons. He’s got honest to god steel in his spine that he paid for with his own blood. Also a bit of a centrist, which could end up being a blessing or a curse depending on how he views his own party. (Side Note: I’m still holding out hope for a concept I saw last fall: A McCain/Lieberman ticket. I think it would be f****** fabulous! Best thing to happen to presidential politics in a century.) Kinda crotchety though. Also, getting a head start on that Reaganesque falling asleep in meetings thing.

Mitt Romney. Any Republican that can get himself elected in Massachusetts bears looking at. We’ll have to wait and see if he can dance on the big stage without stepping on his junk. His own party’s going to flog the crap out of him over same sex marriage. He’s probably a political corpse that doesn’t know he’s dead.

George Pataki. Yawn.

Jim Gilmore. Who?

Sam Brownback. A little too much like our current president for his own good. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a decent guy, but he’s gonna get Bush fatigue in a big hurry. Probably gonna come down to delivery on his part. My gut tells me the body politic is tired of bible thumpers.

Mike Huckabee. Who?

Chuck Hagel Ha ha ha ha….ouch! Sorry, just fell out of my chair laughing.

Tom Tancredo. Threw that last one in just because Tom’s more a Libertarian than a Republican. It would be nice to see a serious challenger from that angle. If they’d just stop insisting the rest of us read Atlas Shrugged folks would be falling all over them.

This public service announcement was brought to you by Ares and Athena, LLC; Political consultants worldwide with offices in Juarez, Cairo, and Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

The Donkey Race

Just in case you were wondering who is in the arena thus far I’ve decided to offer an Ares-slanted analysis of the candidates that have declared. Kinda dumb to declare this early if you ask me, but it’s not my money.

Hillary Clinton. See previous post.

Barack Obama. By all appearances a pretty smart guy and one of the best orators to hit the scene in the past 20 years. Thus far he’s stayed away from bloody-edged partisanship, hope that lasts. As for actual skills it’s a pure wait and see game. After 7 years of Dubya we’re so elated by a politician that gives a good speech we’d follow him to a whorehouse in Tijuana just to hear what he had to say about it.

John Edwards. Because what this country needs is another lawyer in the White House. He comes off as kind of smarmy. And let’s face it, he’s too short. We don’t elect short presidents anymore.

Al Gore. I’m no Democratic Party strategist, but I think that’s been tried. Algore could put free basing meth addicts to sleep. Yes, I know he’s a good person because he cares about the environment. Decency doesn’t impress me nearly as much as competence. Little evidence in that department.

Joe Biden. Not a bad guy, aside from being a lifelong Washington political operator. I think we could use someone with experience that extends beyond the beltway. Hard pressed to think of anything off the top of my head that he’s done that’s been noteworthy.

John Kerry. Just announced he’s not going to run after all, much to the chagrin of the Republican Party. It’s rare that you get piñatas that large in political life.

Wesley Clark. Hard pressed to think of a single thing he’s done, ever. Makes me wonder if he’s overextended on his mortgage and needs a paying gig to make ends meet.

Denis Kucinich. Looks like a troll. If we don’t elect short presidents we sure as hell don’t elect trolls. If he were president we’d have tofu instead of meat in every school cafeteria. I think he’s a quiet Democratic version of Pat Buchanan.

Christopher Dodd. Who?

Tom Vilsack. Sounds too much like ball-sack. He could be FDR and JFK reincarnated but he’ll never get past his name.

Bill Richardson. The best qualified candidate that’s never going to get anywhere. Richardson has political street cred. He’s actually sat face to face with Kim “I’m so ronely” Jong Il and could probably get a handle on that mess. He’s been a governor for the past five years, and a good one at that. Also a former UN Ambassador from the mythological Clinton presidency, so he’s got global experience. A Spanish speaking Hispanic that’s actually done something about illegal immigration in his state. If we elected leaders based on competence instead of appearance and style he’d be the horse to put your money on.

This public service announcement was brought to you by Ares and Athena, LLC; Political consultants worldwide with offices in Paris, Tokyo, and Ball Ground.

Why I Don't Want Hillary

This one could get ugly in a hurry so I’ll keep it short. There are two pretty simple reasons why I’m dreading her run. The biggest one is that both sides are going to engage in euphoric recall/vilification about the Clinton presidency of the ‘90s. It’s over man, let it go. Nothing in the way of progress is going to occur while we spend a lot of wasted time arguing about things that happened 10 years ago. Hillary would be only too happy to let this happen, as it would allow her to avoid the hard questions. Hillary is to the right was Dubya is to the left: A two-legged shitstorm with a magical ability to bring out the worst in half the country. After 14 years I’m thoroughly tired of absolutist, blood sport, in-your-face trench warfare. Second reason: She’s not her husband. Love him or hate him, you have to admit he could give a speech and work the charm. Hillary’s got none of that. She comes off like a pinched and pissed off headmistress at a school for insolent children. And please don’t give me that bullshit about needing a woman president. It’s not about your race or gender, it’s about your politics. There’s an easy way to test that “we need a woman” president crap. Ask the issuer of that statement if they would support Ann Coulter if she ran. I didn’t think so. My objections are the same for both male and female presidents. I’d like to see one that isn’t bathed in the blood of partisan politics. I wonder if this country will ever produce another Teddy Roosevelt or FDR?

If this doesn’t get Athena out from under the pile on her desk I don’t know what will.

Ares

Monday Morning Doughnuts

Just a random thought for Monday morning. During my parents generation fast food and supermarkets became commonplace. It’s not too much of a stretch to say that we can pretty much eat whatever we want whenever we want as a result. One of the effects of this has been a national wrestling match with the effects of eating what we want instead of what we should. (I’m not calling anybody out here, glass houses and all that.) I see another 500 pound gorilla limbering up in the corner, this time in the form of the internet. The ability to access whatever information we want, whenever we want, is shaping up to be one of those blessing/curses that propels us forward with a new set of rocks around our neck. Somebody smarter than me probably hit on this years ago, but it’s just now making its way into my head on this blustery Monday morning.

Book Report

I just burned through a decent book: The Man in the High Castle by Phillip K. Dick. I promised myself I’d do more fiction this year and High Castle came recommended by an internet source I tend to trust. The premise of the book is what hooked me. It’s the early ‘60’s, and Germany and Japan won the Second World War. The Japanese occupy the west coast of the USA, renaming it the Pacific States of America. The Germans rolled through Europe, routed the Russians, and occupy the east coast of the U.S. After winning the Germans bottle up the Mediterranean and turn it into farm land, invent rocket travel to Mars and Venus, and take the Final Solution on the road to Africa.

Just in case you had any inkling to read it I haven’t given away any plot spoilers. The book is about the lives of a few separate people that are loosely connected. The aforementioned alternative history is dribbled out here and there. If the author sounds familiar it’s because he’s written stuff you’ve seen. Bladerunner (originally a book entitled Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?), Total Recall (originally a short story called We Can Remember It For You Wholesale) and Minority Report (they didn’t screw with that title) were all written by Mr. Dick. High Castle is really more a work of alternative history than Science Fiction. A nice thing about the book; it gives a subtle reminder of what was really at stake in the Second World War. Not the land or the conquest but the ideologies. Much like a beer on payday, the book goes down smooth and easy.

Ares

Pimp College

I came across this story the other day. The short version goes like this. Seems Mr. Abraham got convicted of murder when he was 13. Under some idiotic ‘get tough’ law in Michigan they tried him as an adult. After conviction the judge sentenced him as a juvenile, which means he gets to walk when he’s 21. Now that he’s out some bureaucratic gymnast got him into a program that gives free college tuition and room & board. The program was designed for foster kids. Really kinda ticked me off when I first read it, but not for the reasons you're thinking of. The biggest reason is that some poor kid that didn’t murder anybody won’t have a slot now. Sends a really, really bad message. On the flip side this is actually a good thing..... in theory. I’m looking at this from a long dollar/short dollar perspective. National recidivism rate for felons runs between 65 and 75%. Oklahoma had a program a few years back where they were letting people get college degrees in prison. The recidivism rate for those that got degrees dropped to 4%. Guaranteed that tuition costs less than housing an inmate for five years.

That said, I think this is gonna be a waste of time. The article talks about how Abraham had trouble with authority on the inside. If you can’t hack the program on the inside you’re sure as hell not gonna hack it on the outside. What’s going to happen the first time his boss gets in his face about being late for work? Also, it’s been shown time and again that emotional development stops when you enter a correctional setting. He was 13 when he went in. And walking out of prison dressed like Huggy Bear doesn’t help your image any. This is gonna be money down the toilet for the folks in Michigan.

Ares

That's a Man, Baby!

Are Athena and I the only ones that think Mick Jagger and Christiane Amanpour are actually the same person? That may have been a Vent, but we've been saying it for years.

The Big Uneasy

Good times on the bayou. Seems New Orleans has racked up 10 murders in the first two weeks of the year. The folks are pretty pissed off, and they held a little protest march to let the mayor know. My first thought is that you probably shouldn't have re-elected Ray "Chocolate City" Nagin. But that's really neither here nor there, things would have gone to s*** regardless of who works at city hall. Excellent piece buy the Christian Science Monitor breaks it down. Just over 200,000 have returned to the city. (That makes the murder rate even more impressive. Probably approaching Baghdad or Bogota per capita.) The police department is losing about 17 officers a month. Best stat in the piece: in '03 and '04 the conviction rate for murder was about 12%. (Nationwide is 80%) All this prompts me to ask the rhetorical question: What's the threshold for the federal government taking over? Any precedent Athena?

Ares

Imagine Their Kids

Supposedly they both spoke at an event at some college. Now this is an event I would go see. Imagine, something for everyone to hate. Sort of a Celebrity Death Match without the Death part. Attendees of the event said it was a split decision: Ann took the talent competition, Al carried the swimsuit portion of the event. These two should take this one on the road. They can call it the Bankrupt Ideologies Tour.

An Enormous Digression.

I pray you’ll excuse a slight geek holiday here. Defensetech is a great website. They try to stay abreast of the latest issues and technology in law enforcement and national security. The really nice thing about Noah and the boys is that they’re completely non-partisan and aren’t on anybody’s payroll, so they have no qualms about calling out some of the more stupid things that get done in that arena. Anyway, a little piece got thrown up over the weekend about the Littoral Combat Ship that’s being built for the Navy. Seems that after they built the first one Lockheed Martin almost doubled the quoted cost per ship, from $220 million to almost $410 million. Two thoughts immediately came to mind. First, I willing to wager if we started buying these things overseas the price would magically stabilize. I’m not so much of a blind patriot that I enjoy bending over for a defense contractor that hides behind the flag. Second thought: I really need to work in a business where I can just pass along my cost increases and budget overruns to my employer. “Sorry sir, but I’m going to have to charge you double my annual salary. Seems I’ve had some unexpected entertainment expenses on the weekends and the increase in gas prices has led to some expanded transportation costs.” The good news is that the Navy has issued a stop work order to Lockheed Martin.

A Rebranding Suggestion

So I was in my favorite Stop & Rob earlier tonight and a particular product caught my eye. I don't know when they switched from calling Velveeta a "Cheese Food" to calling it a "Cheese Product". Pretty sad, they won't even let them call it food anymore. Just some approximation of what cheese is supposed to be. I think there is a mighty parallel here with the mass media. Not so much an information source but more of a "News Product" we get fed. And just to digress a half step further, I found this picture on Amazon.com. People actually write product reviews for Velveeta. What the hell!?

Let Me Save You the Trouble

Thank god the mass media is on the case, eager to clear up any lingering questions I may have. From the "Why The F*** Is This News" files we have a report that Jennifer Wilbanks has dropped her lawsuit against her former fiance for running off with the money from their book deal. You may remember Miss Wilbanks as the "Runaway Bride" that went "missing" before her wedding, only to call from New Mexico to say "Just Kidding". I think my problem with this story is that someone offered them a half a million dollars to tell their "story" in a book. Note to the owners of ReganMedia: You have idiots working for you that give away large sums of money for what will be a one page book. I think it was going to read something like this: I'm rich, I'm spoiled, and now I'm really embarrased.

If Julia Roberts hadn't done that crappy movie and given the media a ready-made tagline would this have really been a story? Probably, because after all it was a missing white girl, even if only for a few mintues.

Separated at Birth?

Am I the only one that thinks John Negroponte and Anakin Skywalker are actually the same person? It would solve a lot of questions on Negroponte's part. Why, John, why did you kill the younglings?

Why I Shouldn't Breed

Short version: Because this is what I'm like after two cups of coffee. Imagine this in a four year old. Actually, my mother can.

Oh Windy One

All right. I've been accused of being too long winded in my posts. As a result of said corrective criticism, all posts shall henceforth be limited to a paragraph. Of course, that paragraph might be like a Faulkner book, but it will only be one paragraph. Thought I would post a picture of Athena's cat. Okay, it's not really Athena's cat. It actually looks like my boss, except he's not a cat.

Ares

Dead Space

Sorry about the lax blogging as of late, been spending too much time with work things. Finally got around to some days off and I can barely muster enough effort to reach the remote. The holidays were a serious endurance trial, worked nine straight days. By the end of it I had to refer to my driver’s license to be sure of my complete name. I’m strongly in need of some serious decompression time. I’ve got some good beer, a good book, and some good television.

Which brings me to today’s point. I lay on the couch last night in a half-conscious state watching Battlestar Galactica, wondering what we did for visual entertainment before CGI. If you’re not partaking of the new BSG then you’re missing out. You don’t have to be a Sci Fi fan to enjoy it. In the tradition of Bradbury or Heinlein, it’s more a story about people that happens to be set in the future. And unlike a lot of Sci Fi television up to this point, they put more effort into the script and storyline than visuals or gadgets. The show doesn’t try to substitute violence or gadgets with plot development. (Anybody out there remember V?)

Not that the visuals aren’t stellar. For the first time I really want a high def big screen. Those of you that saw Exodus Part 2 know what I’m talking about. (I would pay admission to a theater to watch the scene where Pegasus and Galactica are slugging it out with the Basestars) Having been a fan of the first one, I often wonder what we’re going to laugh about in this one thirty years from now. Like the picture on the right from the original series. It’s funny in retrospect. Yea, we travel in space, go faster than light, everybody has a personal laser gun, but we only have monochrome monitors and 640K hard drives. And has anyone else noticed in the original that when there’s some sort of space action sequence they had about five different three second clips they would use to try to explain every possible thing that could ever happen? Cylons closing in? Show the standard longshot of a dozen silver disks moving through space. Cylons are attacking? Show the three second clip of the self-defense batteries firing. Cylong ship hit by aforementioned defense batteries? Show the two second explosion in space clip. Battle over, cut to commercial.

We’ve come a long way baby in the visuals department. But even without the visuals, there’s actually character development in the new BSG. All of the women can pretty much beat you to death with their bare hands, proving they’ve solved that whole women-in-combat thing in the future. What’s more, the characters have actual flaws and fears and faults. Tigh and Starbuck drink themselves into a stupor after Exodus, and Starbuck’s marriage takes a dump. It’s easier to believe a future where people get scared, depressed, tired, and have to poop. (Okay, don’t have confirmation on that last one, but you believe that the characters actually do that. Part of that whole “identifying with them on a human level” thing that a lot of sci fi forgets.)

The dialogue is also a huge step forward. It tends to flow like people actually talk, which is more than can be said of a lot of other sci fi. “It’s naïve to think that horrible things we can’t understand have simple explanations. Simple explanations make us feel like we have control when we don’t.” (Love that line.) Jargon is used effectively, making it sound authentic without losing the audience. And the music is pretty damn good as well. Something of a violin concerto meets Dead Can Dance meets Ali Babba of the Desert meets Samurai war drums. Sounds silly but it works well. This show has been one of my very few television vices. At some point in the future I’m probably going to have to invest in buying it on DVD. (Birthday coming up; wink wink, nudge nudge.)

Ares