If It Walks Like a Duck.....

I don’t like beating dead horses, but I’ve got a few questions. By now the battle lines are firmly drawn in the whole overwrought imams-thrown-off-the-plane incident. Is it me or does it seem like they had the press releases and indignation spring loaded and ready to fire? We’ll let that one go, as I’m sure one of the imams had CAIR on speed dial. CAIR probably has a pre-formatted press release for stock denouncements. I have yet to waste a single second of my life reading anything they write, but I would imagine it reads something like “We, the yadda yadda yadda of the religion of peace, do most strongly protest the treatment of yadda yadda yadda at the hands of yadda yadda yadda.”

My second question is the big one. This is your big chance Mr. Imam, explain exactly what it was you were doing dancing around the cabin, yelling like a Palestinian game show host? I can assure you the media is on your side and is only too willing to make the airline and the Department of Homeland Security look like jackasses. Throw Wolf Blitzer a bone show us how it was all just a big misunderstanding. I’m a reasonably intelligent guy so I’m sure if you got me in the contextual neighborhood I’d be all up in there with you. The lady that got the flight diverted for lighting matches to cover her farts is a good example. Who hasn’t let fly on a plane? Maybe you had some lower G.I. issues and decided to go check with Mohammed to see if he had any wetnaps for your impending trip to the wiz closet. En route to Mohammed’s seat a couple of good air biscuits shot out of you unexpectedly. Embarrassed, you let fly with a few good Allah Ahkbars to provide some auditory cover.

My other question is simpler and more towards the rhetorical. Though I haven’t seen it anywhere I’m sure someone has made this reference. Isn’t a bunch of guys screaming Allah Ahkbar on an airplane the modern equivalent of yelling “Fire!” in a crowded movie theater? Memo to all you ass clowns: Your freedom of speech comes to a screeching halt when you scream the name of your god while in the midst of a conveyance that your co-religionists used to murder my countrymen. Flying is a privilege, not a right. If you wanna get your god on at Koresh levels while in a mode of transportation get yourself a Kia and hit Interstate 80. (I don’t usually endorse other people’s work, but for an excellent editorial on the issue I direct you to this piece in the Wall Street Journal.)

I think it’s time we engage the Duck Rule. For those not familiar, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, and craps like a duck you’re probably dealing with a duck. This was a PR hit, pure and simple. I’m not the first person to suggest that. The only reason I invoke the Duck Rule is that no other plausible explanation has been put forth. With the world-wide mass media engine pointed directly at them the voices of the Religion of Peace haven’t issued so much as a beer belch in the arena of explanatory logic and justification. Here’s a hint to all of the Islam boosters in the crowd out there: Bashing the faults of your opposition does not endow you with righteousness, or even prove your point. It just makes you look like the mental 11 year old that you are.

And while we’re on the subject I think CAIR is the Tokyo Rose of the Long War. Think of all the energy they’re wasting on press releases when they could be, say, beating they’re wives. Okay, that was crude, I’m sure they don’t beat their wives. But I’m pretty sure hell’s going to freeze over before we hear them condemn the practice. I sent Athena an article the other day about a male school teacher in Afghanistan that was disemboweled and literally ripped apart by the Taliban recently. His crime was teaching at a school for girls. Surely we can all get together and agree this is evil? Not CAIR’s cup of tea I guess. As the brilliant television show once intoned, they’re beating the women. Step back from that and we can talk like adults. Hell, I’ll even talk to you like you’re a man.

Ares