Or should I say “News flavored product”. Todays installment of the Why The F*** Are You Telling Me This files is courtesy of the ever-classy Seattle Times: Yakima Teacher Reprimanded For Sending 5-Year-Old Student Home With Bag Of Feces In Backpack. Leave it to the Times to make me wish for more stories about Michael Jackson being dead. While we're on this topic I've got a few questions of my own. For those that have issues with my digression on the subject please bear this in mind: I didn't make this a front page story in a major newspaper.
What sort of societal standard should we be hold out teachers to with regard to kids making a grunt sculpture in their classroom?
What would be the appropriate verbiage for telling a parent their precious little snowflake dropped a deuce in public?
Will this necessitate an addendum to progress reports? I.e.: Math B+, Reading C, Deportment Good, Absence of Dookie in Classroom Unsatisfactory.
Should Hallmark come out with a new line of cards to ease the communication between teachers and parents? “Roses are red, violets cost more, Your little angel, took a s*** on my floor.”
I could continue on this line but you get the idea. Personally I'd like to buy the teacher a tall cold one for dealing with this directly. I would have called the janitor (or HazMat) and waited in the hall. The kid's parents need to move right now. If they don't his prom date, and probably his wife, will know about this. As for the Times, the analogies between feces stories and their Port-O-San of a newspaper are too numerous to pluck. They've pretty much succeeded in beclowning themselves on this one.
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