Bacon Maple Bar Saves Part-Time Vegetarian
After a cleansing five-day intense yoga retreat at Breitenbush Hot Springs, where the menu is strictly vegetarian, I was feeling clean, strong, healthy, and in desperate need of protein. Figuring I'd be home around dinner time, I planned to continue my healthy streak with some tekka maki from my local sushi restaurant. But as the evening rush hour began to waylay our progress, and my carnivorous hunger began to kick-in, I thought I better sate my need before I started to eat my own fingernails. Fortunately for me, as we cruised through Portland, we happened past VooDoo Doughnuts, the home of the Bacon Maple Bar.
I was a little concerned about what this intense shot of sugar and fats would do to my thoroughly cleansed and hyper-relaxed system after nearly a week of a meat-free, low-fat, zero refined sugar diet. I also had to consider that I still had five non-stop hours in the back of a small car to go (making intestinal distress disastrous).
Once we entered Voodoo Doughnuts, a Pepto-Bismol pink former Denny's restaurant, I searched the display case and there past the Voodoo doughnut dolls (which come complete with frosting-painted grimace and pretzel voodoo pin impaling their little doughy hearts), vegan doughnuts (exactly NOT what I needed), doughnuts covered with Coco Puffs and Captain Crunch, I saw one maple bar topped with two strips of crispy bacon. Hunger and nutritional need drove me to pull out my wallet.
Now, my aesthetic sensibilities started to kick in and I noticed the bacon fat had cooled, congealed, and turned white. Suddenly I lost my appetite. I think it was CJ, the most experimental of our quintet that dove in for the first bite. After seeing the satisfied roll of her eyes, my curiosity overwhelmed my hesitation and I dug in. It was pure syrupy pancake and bacon bliss. This was the breakfast I'd yearned for each morning I'd woken up to tempeh and eggs.
While I wouldn't recommend making a trip cross-country for this doughnut, if you find yourself in Portland, it's definitely worth a five-minute trip out of your way to try it. Also, if you happen to be at breakfast with all the makings nearby, drop a strip of warm bacon on a maple bar and you'll have an even fresher experience than mine.
Ares note: Gotta go, on my way to Portland.
